The Minionless

I’m up way later than I should be as per usual. I feel a craving for D&D and stuff I want to write or play or something. I wish I had the day off tomorrow alas I do not so why not just deal with it and then maybe have something interesting and fun happen Sunday. I’m going to try and play a game or two of Warmachine with some new people at the game store. Then after that I’m going to brainstorm a bit about getting my larger game started at the store. More importantly I need a new local friend game. my old group consisting of Stumps, Sis, and the Girl, seems to have destabilized after a only a short time with the newer fresher content. I suspect it was all attributed to this one session we had where I made a kinda big fuck up by focusing only on one of the three for an extended amount of time, that and they don’t seem to all be on the same roleplaying wave length.

I don’t mean to say that they are bad players, and worse when together, I mean that they are all spectacular and on more than one occasion they have struck gold and really helped make a truly fun session. I wish they would start playing again, but if they don’t want to then I’m not going to try and guilt/force them into it for my own satisfaction…god I hope they start playing again, finding time, players, location, characters, story, and cooperation is so incredibly difficult.

As a side thought I’ve been running around with the idea of bringing my old players back into it despite their seeming reluctance to concentrate on playing the game. We had good times.

So earlier this week I was reminded by sis, that later on this week…that is to say today would be a vet appointment for Grimm and Sullivan, I was initially worried because I didn’t think I was going to have the cash to cover the large bill it was sure to incur. Last night sis told me that I don’t really need to worry about the money right now and we can settle it afterwards, that in and of itself made me feel a lot better about the whole thing taking it from holy shit I’m screwed to whew I’ll make it. Then something happened I am utterly not fond of, I forgot my obligation to go with her to the vet. I went to sleep rather early last night figuring it’d be smarted for work today…instead I slept right on through sis leaving for the vet, right up until she got back home. Then she came in and asked why I was still asleep to which I replied with something stupid and selfish I assume, then she followed with reminding me I was obligated to go with her for MY cat’s vet appointment. Just to top it all off, all I could muster as way of apology was “I’m sorry”.

It’s shit like this that makes me utterly despise myself for being an unreliable friend, and general scum of the earth type stuff. I can’t get through a day without forgetting something that someone asked of me.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t think this is the straw that broke the camel’s back and I will now be hated forever, but without confirmation of that suspicion I will be trapped within my own fear that it is going to be the last mistake and I just totally screwed over a friend so royally that now I’m a blue falcon in their book and just not worth the effort to keep as a friend.

I probably should post something super special first to grab attention, but I’m not really here to grab attention I’m just here to catalog what’s going on with me I’m fairly sure my friends are tired of hearing me talk about it all the time. 

Introductions! Hi, I’m Jayson McSweeney I have been fascinated with everything fantasy and science fiction from as early as I can remember…or I guess choose to remember. When I was in my Junior year of High school me and a very close friend of mine started talking about what we wanted from video games we were playing. I think we spent almost 2 hours every time we hung out exclusively talking about stuff like that. We discussed the desire for a game that had a lot of customization, totally free flowing, playable with a group, and fun. This was roughly around the time when Wizards of the Coast was releasing Dungeons and Dragons 4th edition. I don’t remember how, but we got some of the books together and we learned how to play over a weekend, found like minded individuals, rolled characters, and got cracking some knee caps.

It was such an enlightening experience for me to find this piece to a puzzle I’ve been struggling with I feel my whole life. It was something I could pour all of my different creative mediums into and do it with other people! I couldn’t have been happier…Until some really shitty stuff happened and I hated every session we played, but I’ll talk about that stuff at a later date.

Sometime in the summer following my graduation from high school I was introduced to this wonderful girl and she brought me back from the brink of despair with the simplest thing, leaving the place all the shitty stuff was located. I moved away and she introduced me to her friends who at first thought I was pompous douche, it took a couple of months for them to I don’t even know we really didn’t see each other at all after the first time I met them…Anyway I was talking one evening about how I really wanted to get my campaign of D&D up and running again, the girl said that she knew her friends would love to play and started contacting them for me asking who would be interested in playing with me. We met again made characters then played a bit, next session we got together we played for a long time probably 6 hours ish and it was grand I really got to break them in as far as new players go. After we wrapped up a couple people sat with me in the kitchen and just listened to me rant about D&D, and apparently that was all it took for them to change their perception of me as a douche to a passionate and creative individual, their words not mine I swear.

I’ll continue my introduction next post if nothing worth noting pops up in the near future, but for now I need to go to class woo!