I find it so hard to talk to the people I care about the most. I feel like an alien trying to communicate through a weird combination of sign language and interpretive dance. I don’t want to talk to them on the phone, bother them with texts, or even just try to get them engaged in something I’m doing.
When I originally moved into the house I could not have been happier I was living with three people who ultimately were very close friends who all held the relative same interests as me. Now however I feel like all of them dislike me. I can’t get them to go a day without some form of berating (well my perception of telling off). I wish there was some way I could tell them to please stop and tell me WHY I don’t want to be the one that drives a stake in our friendships I don’t want to have this year I spent with them be a complete and utter mistake forgetting the financial aspect. I’m absolutely petrified that when it comes time to move out (only about a month now) that I’ll never see them again and two of the most cherished people in my life will fade from my life without anything I can do to prevent that. That they will move on from me, I wasn’t anything more than a novelty to them something easily utilized for limited entertainment until one too many slip ups caused a rift.